Mutual Expectations

Points to Ponder: July 24, 2018
I will today write about certain peculiarities of human behavior that have intrigued me for quite some time now.
1) The one who cannot love himself promises to love the other till the end of time.
2) The one who cannot take care of himself vows to take care of the whole spectrum of needs of the other.
3) The one who cannot sit still for even a minute, let alone stay peaceful, promises to fill the life of the other with peace.
4) The one who cannot admit to his faults and be honest with oneself even in the privacy of the mind, who feels the constant urge to justify and argue out his own behavior to himself expects the other to be completely honest.
5)The one who cannot refrain from judging his own self and stay in self respect by accepting himself completely says to the other “I shall never judge you”.
6) The insecure guarantee security to the other.
7)The one in fear says” don’t be afraid, I am here.”
The list is very long. I started on this journey of self realization some time back. And the first thing I understood was one has to start with one’s own self. We promise while we are actually secretly expecting the same thing. If I need love, how can I promise love? If I am not enough for myself, how can I be enough for the other? I can only give to the other what I have in plenty. But what is happening is we are promising to the other the very things that we are seeking. Do not go by what people say. They may make tall claims similar to the ones cited above. Just observe them a little. You would find that each one is running on empty. Do not be deceived by the promises. People do not have the capacity to give to the other despite their intention, desire or claims. This is why every relationship gets stuck in mutual expectations. We promise to give but all we do is expect, expect and expect. And that is the only natural behavior expected of souls in their current state. So what do we do? Do we stop having relationships? Do we get sad that there is no one to fill us?
Tomorrow we shall understand the way out of this mire of expectations.

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