Self preservation is the natural instinct of humans to save themselves from harm. But this usually applies to physical harm and preservation from physical harm. Physical detachment is the way to protect one from physical harm. However, today we would like to reflect on emotional hurt and emotional preservation. Emotional hurt and physical hurt are different from each other. Physical hurt depends on physical proximity while emotional hurt depends on emotional proximity. It has got nothing to do with physical proximity. For example, the pain of my mother who is miles away from me has a greater capacity of affecting me compared to the pain of my work colleague with whom I spend a major chunk of my day. So emotional Pain is a product of emotional proximity. Running away from a person or situation with whom I am emotionally attached does not help in alleviating the emotional pain. But usually, because we lack clarity, this is exactly what we do in an attempt to protect ourselves from emotional pain. However, it does not work.

Pain urges us to change. Pain has the ability to push us towards change. Nobody likes pain and living with emotional pain is as painful as living with physical pain or may be even worse. So pain must be alleviated. But running away from the person or situation does not equal running away from the pain that it causes. Emotional pain can be addressed by emotional detachment. What is emotional detachment? To understand this, let us first understand what it is not. It is not becoming callous towards the other person. It is not becoming inconsiderate or indifferent. In fact it has got nothing to do with the other person. What it means is building your state of mind to make it so powerful, stable and content that it is not affected by but it rather affects the other person. It is like wearing your perfume so loud that the other one’s odor does not reach you. There is no way to push away the other one’s energy, the only way out is the build up your own aura. When my aura is developed, I do not live in the shadow of the other, rather they shine in my company.